Why Ambitious Men Shouldn’t Date Problematic Women

Why Ambitious Men Shouldn’t Date Problematic Women
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I’ve had a theory for a long time, one that I seem to find to be more and more relevant as I get older. That theory being that men who have stressful lives, A.K.A ambitious lives – should avoid problematic women.

Before I get to far into my theory; Let’s start by describing my definition of problematic women. Problematic women are the kind of women who are exceptionally emotionally unstable (bipolar, borderline), bitchy, negative, depressive, draining and untrustworthy (too many guy friends, deceptive, and “game players”). These sort of problematic women can spell doomsday for ambitious men specifically – although not exclusively.

Stress Overload

I believe all men have a certain stress thresh-hold and for all men it’s different. In essence, we have a limited amount of expendable energy towards things that we find head-ache inducing. Potentially stressful things for most men include career, finances, goals, general self improvement (it’s never easy to change) and women. The more ambitious our goals are the more energy that is used up – pretty simple concept.

I’ve always said it’s easy to date a problematic and or bitchy woman if your biggest ambition is working at the coffee shop for the remainder of your life. Why? Because, your job and ambitions provide you with no real challenge or stress and therefore you can direct that same energy to dealing with problematic women. You have the time and energy to waste unraveling all of her perpetual shit she creates.

A Personal Escape

I remember when I didn’t have a whole lot going for me – hell, it wasn’t even that long ago, 3 years ago – when I was 25 – I was unemployed, living with my parents and spent all day bumming cigarettes because I couldn’t afford them. During this time I started dating a girl, who was in my belief now – pretty problematic. However, since I had no real ambitions, a woman who was problematic seemed like an addicting-ly good time. I dealt with endless shit storms, drama, mood swings and basically losing my mind. Towards the middle of this relationship (6 months in), I started changing – or maturing even. I decided to start my own business and I noticed that the relationship was immensely harder to deal with. It was already a huge pain in the ass, but after I dedicated myself to something difficult – the relationship became fucking impossible.

I could no longer deal with the garbage from my relationship, I lashed out at all the ridiculous problems I was putting up with – I was stressed the fuck out. It felt like I had 200 silver back gorillas giving me a “gentle” rub down.


I just wanted to escape my broken relationship, but it was harder than I thought it would be. However it was inevitable where it was going and eventually I was out.

Shortly after the relationship ended my career skyrocketed. it went from 0 to 100 in literally two months, something I thought was going to take years to do originally. I had all my energy back, and it was going straight into my ambitions and paying off big time.

Since my first success, I have spent a lot of time traveling and dating women. Nothing too serious of course, but not one night stands either. However, I noticed something different – my threshold of what I would put up with in women dropped way, way down. If any of these girls started anything REMOTELY along the lines of what I considered a problematic woman – I would draw the line and if they crossed it again I would cut them off. It wasn’t just purely based on “principle” though, I knew that if I started giving my energy away to problematic women that the rest of my life would suffer. I would often tell these women, “Well, if I worked at a coffee shop i’d date you”.

Now maybe some men can deal with extremely stressful ambitions and problematic women. It’s possible. However, I think it’s rare and is never really beneficial in the long run. So, would you rather be a barista with a bitch girlfriend or a CEO with your pick of virtuous and non stress inducing women? Or, you could just be single and avoid it all together. But, Odds are, wherever your ambitions take you – they will also dictate your options. The people in your personal life, especially romantic life can either elevate your or tear you down. Choose wisely.



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Trevor Freeman
Written by
Trevor Freeman is a 30 year old entrepreneur, pianist, motorcyclist and philosophy buff. Follow him on twitter @trevorjfreeman.
  • Not sure when you wrote this, but I JUST had this discussion with my man about how and why I don’t accept drama from relationships AND friendships for that matter. So for ambitions women…same thing applies! 100% agreeing with you! (by the way…call me if you ever need a designer for any of your clients 😉 #ambitionatitsfinest

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