Friends are anabsolutely integral part of being happy in life. I would go as far to say that having good friends are more important than a good romantic partner. Your friends are people who you can confide in, help and progress together in life — and unlike romantic relationships, have a much higher chance of being lifelong. But, how do you know that your friends are REAL friends and not just FAKE friends? That they’re the type of friends that will last a lifetime and provide value to each other or people who are merely looking to gain from you.
Does This Friend Help You When You’re In Dire Straits?
Just like the adage goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” In some friendships, you will consistently find yourself ‘saving your friend.’ They constantly get into situations from their irresponsibility and call you to fix their problems. Maybe they got too drunk and didn’t know where they are and they call you to come pick them up in the middle of the night. Only for a few days later for them to call you to spot them some money because they blew their paycheck on something stupid. It’s a one-way friendship where you are the parent, and when you ask for help, they are nowhere to be found. A real friendship means that each person can take care of themselves but are both willing to help in reasonable circumstances.
Do You Have An Equitable Exchange of Friend Funds?
When you and your friends go out are you always footing the bill? There should be a ‘somewhat’ even exchange between you and you friends. If you paid for Friday’s round of drinks, then your friend should be paying at least some of Saturday’s round. It’s one thing if your friend is going through financial problems and they don’t help out paying for things, or you’re exceptionally generous, but you should not feel like you are being used financially.
Is Your Friend Two-Faced?
Does your friends loyalty only exist when in your physical presence? Do they tell you that you are a great person only to talk shit about you behind your back? If your friend puts on a facade when you’re around only to then talk down about you to others — they are a fake friend. Some people will go to social media to spread gossip and shit-talking. This two-faced-ness often comes from repressed emotions in your friend such as jealousy, insecurity or control issues. Many people also participate in the game of playing people against each other. So if your friend has another friend that doesn’t like you, they will tell you and the other friend both of what they want to hear.
Is There A Sexual Attraction?
In many friendships between men and women, there is an underlying sexual attraction. Sexual attraction alone isn’t necessarily a problem, but sometimes that sexual attraction is the motivation of the friendship. I’ve seen so many examples of women with male friends in which they believe the relationship to be platonic (fake friends). Of course, this isn’t always the case, and with the right circumstances (booze) they may end up sleeping together or doing something regretful. In fact, according to Scientific American, there is a lot of evidence out there to say that men and women cannot just be friends. That’s not to say every male-female relationship is sexually fueled under the surface, but there is a good chance it is. One good way to avoid sexual-motivated friendships is to have best friends that are of the same sex.
Qualities Of A True Friend
- Mutual Exchange of Help
- Mutual Exchange of Money
- Open Communication
- Shared Values and Goals
- Puts Friendship Above Sex
- Consistent Track Record Of Above Traits